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Dawns a clear day, just as the full moon is setting. A time for revelry and mayhem. It is nearly equinox time. Dreaming thus: climbing rapidly down an exactly vertical metal ladder, with others behind me, carrying a large heavy satchel that I’d offered to carry for someone else. I amazed myself at how fast I could descend… In our last week in Napa, I’m here alone, for 3 full days, while L is in Harbin Hot Springs for a yoga and meditation workshop with Angela Farmer. 3 years ago I drove her there, giving a slide show with her, our Step by Step, and then driving home alone. All this after hot tubbing and lounging about naked with some of the most beautiful women on the West Coast, me aflame with multiple desires… So I am here alone, after 30 straight days of living with L—nothing I begrudge, I do miss her. I can now eat at will, eat what I will, get up and bang about, use the computer all day if I could tolerate it (I can’t), stay up late, get up early, live the bachelor’s life that I’m so used to… Before she left she had trees cut to open the view west. This view had been occluded over the years by the swift growth of trees, mostly live oaks. So that about all we could see looking west was the tree canopy and some open sky and maybe just a peek at Mt St. Helena. But now, after 2 days of tree work from 3 Guatemalans and one boss, T, they've cleared the tops so we can see about 40% of the horizon, open and alive. A liability here is that we see the many lights of Napa suburbs at night. I photographed much of the tree work, mostly from the porch, showing the before and after scenes. Not easy, this assignment. Because of sky conditions, the frequent fog and haze, seeing clearly with my lens was not particularly effective. But I tried, and put up some on my website. L excelled in this role: brushing up her Spanish to talk with the workers, especially the climber, an older man who never smiled, risked his life, is probably poorly paid. They were all bitten by yellow jackets. She was fully on the job, instructing them which limbs and crowns to cut, which to leave, where to move next. Periodically the climber ascended the porch and looked with his own eyes at his haircutting. Yes, he was giving the trees a haircut, their first in some 20 years. L is all energy in this role, and sweetness and compassion. She devised a dictionary of arbor terms, used that, and when the workers noticed it, asked for copies. She’d don her rubber boots (to prevent burrs and poison oak), stride into the brush, talk more directly with the cutters, and help when she could, often cutting smaller and lower limbs herself. I love L even more when I see her in this activity, her energy pure and just and sweet. Add to our list of animals we’ve spotted, a red shouldered hawk sitting on an orchard tree limb waiting for ground squirrels to surface. The deer are coming back to the field, their fall habitat L informs me. And the solitary turkey, the guy without a mate, strutted thru the yard several times as I watched. Then ran swiftly off down the rd and into the hills when I opened the door. ++++++++++++ More photography, trying to improve my infrared and nighttime work. Last night by the full moon, very long exposures, and this morning, out over the fog enshrouded west landscape, newly opened. ++++++++++++ I’ve begun writing my 3rd and final major article while in Napa, a letter to New England Quakers from a Friend in the Ramallah Friends School. I use this title with a slight error, since I’m not now in the school, but I feel very much part of it. I’ve included 2 stories from D and sent them to her for feedback. Also, without D’s stories, to J. This is greatly joyful, writing this piece, compared with my Birzeit writing, currently on hold. I should today write a reply to them, then show it to L, at her request. —Journal, September 17, 2005 In a dream, I was back at Perkins School for the Blind in Watertown MA, walked by the director who I want to name Keith Lockhart but I believe that is the name of the psych professor I worked for at University of Washington. He smiled, I walked on, then someone told me he wanted to see me. We went out into a yard where he was having breakfast. It was very early, few other employees were around. He confided something to me, I forget what. And then said, I believe you are curious about how my family is doing. Then, quick cut, I was sitting with his kids, and one of them was informing me about where everyone was and what they were doing. One, a girl, was in Israel studying at a yeshiva. I said, maybe I’ll look her up when I go there next. ++++++++++++ The moon is full, I experiment with showing it thru the oaks and its shadows spread out by the lumbering oak branches. I also follow the course of sunset, easily observing from the back porch, interrupting whatever is drawing me—food, coffee, beer, books—to note and interpret the changing light. And this all is new since the opening of the forest. ++++++++++++ MC, a local photographer, and her husband L have offered to host a show in their "cave." I biked over yesterday to have a look. Biking was the major accomplishment. To get there I had to ride 4 miles or so to near the Skyline Park to the end of K road in East Napa. Then thru a gate and up up up a long winding hill, it was endless. I was stressed, I was sore, my knees nearly gave out. Up into the hills and thru another gate, and past vineyards, until finally I found it. I’d thought at least 3 times that this is absurd, I will not walk or pedal one more meter, I’ll turn back and complain about the altitude and distance, come another time when I have a motorized vehicle. I made it. They offered the pool for refreshment and a tall glass of cool water. I could then settle in and observe the surroundings. Very elegant, opulent, Californian, extreme to my more plebian nature. Much land, at least 3 buildings, 2 of them studio space, the main building painted light tan, 3 floors, large open interior space, much wood, fairly simple interior, much art around, including an interpretation by M of a Marissol pair of 2 nude women. Plus L's exceptional evocative sculptures. M makes beautiful photos in a light airy style. She’d just photographed a bar mitzvah and was finishing the project. She called down to me from her upper level, welcoming me, turning me over to her bald headed, head shaved husband… We entered the cave. It is about 10 ft high, 20 ft long, 10 ft wide, cut into volcanic rock and faced with blown cement. At one end is a permanently emplaced screen and speakers and wine bottles. I do not know if the bottles are real or decorative. In the back, near where we enter, are the electronics, CD and DVD players. L hooked up the laptop and inserted my CD with a slide show. No luck. Won’t play. They don’t have PowerPoint… ++++++++++++ My last sitting with Napa Quakers yesterday, a full house, some 8 of us, mostly women. Several messages, one about the good and the not good in each of us, having humility when realizing this. Fit right in with my proclivities for self-indulgence. There is that small not so good in me. Had I been in a Catholic confessional, I might have said more, but here, amongst Quakers, not the place. I bid them all goodbye, thanking them for their presence, invited them to the show at M's as they were about to go into an adult education session about how we find our values. —Journal, September 19, 2005 It is indeed the last day writing, and the last day here, of five weeks. I could disturb myself by assessing my experience, how much done, how much not done. But I will refrain from that. I will hit only a few highlights from the past 3 days. ++++++++++++ …What I learned about [an Israeli Jew living near us]—virtually nothing about her personal story—is that she believes there is profound commonality between Jews and Palestinians, that a main reason for there being such a massive division is the untreated primary trauma of the holocaust (and I’d add the nakba). I was not clear what she’d propose to resolve this. She and her husband E, a winery operator, are active in their synagogue, trying to bring people to speak who might challenge the state of Israel. She asserted, as we all know but it is good to remember, that when people suffer they can either become compassionate or hateful, they can either gain strength and insight from their experiences or they can repeat the oppression visited upon them. To this moment, she believes, Jews generally seem to be exhibiting the second behavior. She is part of a dialog group, meeting monthly, including another Israeli Jew and maybe at most one Palestinian. She told me that one day a young blond woman sat next to her with green eyes. I thought she might be Jewish she said. But she was Palestinian. From this conversation I realized that one needed ingredient for resolution of the conflict is a worldwide treatment of the holocaust and nakba, acknowledging what happened, taking responsibility for it even tho few of us were perpetrators. This is a pattern similar to what is occurring in the US related to slavery and Indian genocide. As Hershel said, in a democracy, a few are guilty but we are all responsible. ++++++++++++ …I was joyous meeting again with SK [in Santa Cruz] who expertly co-led the Fellowship of Reconciliation delegation that brought me first to Israel-Palestine. He is extremely knowledgeable, has a fine sense of humor, is dedicated and stubborn, but... Despite this, showing him the photos was a boon, hearing his comments helpful. He said he found the music distracting (partly because of his hearing loss), I could dramatically improve the youth show by showing the anarchists against the wall and the high school refusniks in Israel, and my photos are stunning. He told me there is now a movement in Israel to re-introduce Yiddish. The first generation of the state avoided using Yiddish because of its connection with the "meek" Jew, those "led to the slaughter." And the holocaust generally was unacknowledged. But this is changing and with that change might come, at least in Israel, a more honest confrontation with that part of history… …S had stories about the town, his role as mayor and activist, how while rebuilding after the earthquake of 1989 they commissioned the enlargement and public placement of a statue that a local sculptor, a Korean War vet, had made years earlier. It was inspired by and dedicated to the notion of those destroyed as "collateral damage." With some resistance from vets groups, they did this, raising $45,000 and placing it in a central plaza which is now the site of innumerable rallies and vigils. It sits within 100 yards of another statue, an eagle, dedicated to the US dead of WW1. ++++++++++++ And now we are about to roll home. Today is cleanup-pack up-mail day, probably with no time for writing or photographing or web work. Early to bed, early to rise, meeting the Evan’s coach by 6 am, flying out separately, L to DC for the march, me home, and the year begins, having had this glorious period in beloved Napa California. —September 22, 2005 |